A Professional Storytellers’ Hiatus
Query
There are two types of people in this world: people who are defined by the times and people who define the times. Which one are you?
“I can’t not have the top position!”:
DNA of Snow Global Universe
Let’s take it back from the beginning, the creative origin story:
My first friend, supporter, and follower was my little brother Montez. I don’t know a life or a time when he wasn’t following behind me looking at me with his big innocent eyes for what was next. To him, I was his older brother, protector, leader, and safespace. I didn’t go through a nightmarish childhood alone, I went through it with my flesh and blood, the closest person to me in the entire world, my little brother. Everything I do, every move I make, and every goal I set and accomplish is to prove to him that I was worth following, supporting, letting lead, letting protect, and would always be a safespace.
The person who I looked up to with innocent eyes was my mother who was perfect in all ways to me. I watched life beat her down, I grew to resent her, and with time I grew to know that I was the greatest iteration of her, and it was my job to be the best version of myself and inadvertently her. Grandma Janice was one of the hardest working people I saw, working two jobs, and my safespace as a child, and in her presence I felt warmth and love. Grandma Betty was a shining example of loyalty and love. Granddad was the best father figure I had as a child and the only man in my family I felt comfortable with as a young kid. My grandparents represented stability and them along with my parents are the biological forefathers of my creative community and my little brother Montez is the first investor. The Snow Global Universe is my first descendant and represents the biology of my existence.
From a young age I knew that I was destined to achieve great things and reach great heights. To me, if you don’t believe in something, you don’t have anything to live for. How I survived my nightmarish childhood was believing in myself and living in my own mind. Television helped me understand reality and the plethora of different worlds that were out there. I started learning how the world worked at a young age because I was always observant of the world around me. People would ask me how I knew a word or terms, it could be because I saw it on a billboard, read it in a book, or heard it in adults’ conversations. I had a very strong memory and digested information deeper than most my age.
For my first few years of life I wasn’t able to differentiate between the reality I lived in and the reality that I was watching. The beautiful Monica Denise was one of the first musicians to stand out to me as a kid. When I saw her in her “So Gone” music video, I believed that it was real life and was intimidated by her fierceness. I thought that she was the baddest bitch alive. Trina’s defiance in the “Nann Nigga” video inspired me. I wanted Allen Iverson to be my father or uncle, and Nelly was everything to me.
I started to separate reality from creativity after watching a Tyler Perry play as a seven year old. After watching adults be entertained by it, I didn’t initially understand it. Then after loving his play I Can Do Bad All By Myself and seeing him come out at the end and give a speech, I realized that he was the brains behind the operation. One black man was able to curate a reality where he could tell stories, and others helped to enact these stories and visions. I had visions, stories, and creative ideas too. From that moment on I knew what I wanted to do in life, and I knew that it was achievable.
I would stand in corners for hours on end, be locked in the bathroom for days on end, and hang from ceilings for what felt like forever. I envisioned different realities, altered my own in my head, and escaped my circumstances by living in my own mind. In my mind I could be living in beautiful homes, standing in fun places with my friends, or in imaginary worlds. At school I’d often be checked out of instruction while I stared off and used my textbook as the steering wheel to my dream car that I was driving around these imaginary worlds in. In those trying times, I had to live in my consciousness and mind, and escape from my reality.
Overtime storytelling would become my superpower and escapism was found in the lair of my mind. At a young age, I loved dolls since they were the first figures I could tell my stories and escape reality with, but since they were not “boy toys” to the adults around me, I was never allowed to play with them. I’d eventually make my siblings act out the roles in my off-brand Tyler Perry plays or have the kids at daycare audition for my talent shows and then go on to train them to perform music.
The first CD that I received for my CD player was by my first favorite artist Romeo, and titled “Romeoland.” I played the CD every single day and after eventually losing it, had it replaced as my eighth birthday. My mom, an avid music lover, was frustrated with me since I didn’t want the new Bow Wow CD and since I no longer had a CD player to play it on, the Bow Wow CD would be the only one played in the car. I didn’t care, it was my favorite CD as a child that I received in my favorite year of 2004, the year I was seven years old.
2004 is still my favorite year for music. Usher had the radio station we listened to on lock, we blasted Crime Mob and Jeezy in the house when no one was home, and danced to Ciara on the boombox in the yard. I remember always being excited to hear my favorite rap songs like “Slow Motion” by Juvenile or “So Icy” by Gucci Mane bumping through the sounds of the tricked out cars back then.
“Must Be Nice” was released that time and heavily reminded me of the death of my friends Toe-toe and Quist. I was very interested in Beyonce after her post Destiny’s Child debut of “Check On It” and then “Upgrade You”, but Mariah Carey was the second musician I fell madly in love with, and it was through her that I started really understanding the power of music. I felt “Don’t Forget About Us” in my soul and would crave hearing it on the radio or my mom playing it on the CD. For the next couple of years I would inflate the interest that I had in Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift to fit in with my white girl friends, but it was when I was in seventh grade that I would fall in love with the artist of my life, and one of my eventual top three creative influences of all time.
I played video games on and off as a kid, but after getting my own PSP (Playstation Portable), I fell in love with gaming. I loved the ability to escape from life and exist in those virtual worlds. The world-building and the ability to explore them helped to calm me down. I was always a better gamer than all of my brothers, and they’d call on me any time they had a hard time beating a level on our shared game systems. I’d grab the control and complete it with ease. Gaming to me is the perfect culmination of arts, entertainment, and mental stimulation.
Sixth grade was the first time I was able to step into my bag of performing arts after scoring the role of Rooster in the Annie musical. I’d always liked to sing since I was a kid but wasn’t that comfortable with my voice and I also didn’t have direction or a space to explore my talents. My performance for the role of Rooster was praised and I grew more confidence in my singing and dancing skills, with a strong push of support from my choir teacher and play director Lisa Spangler. Lisa saw something in me at a young age and was one of my biggest cheerleaders and hardest instructors. I wasn’t allowed to audition for the seventh grade musical, but I still found a way to perform on a different stage.
My step-sister Tanasia was the first person to introduce me to the hottest new female rapper, Nicki Minaj, when I was in seventh grade, but I wasn’t immediately sold on. She was too quirky, too different. My favorite female rapper at the time was Trina who was a more calm lyric flexer, while Nicki Minaj was a lot more in your face with it. After seeing them next to each other in a video and knowing that Nicki Minaj had the better verse, I didn’t want to admit it at the time, but I knew she was going to be a problem.
As a twelve year old, I was able to listen to her all of the time because of my mom’s eventual interest in her music and quickly started catching on to her work. Despite my mom being a music junkie with over a hundred CDs and illegal digital downloads, I’d never seen my mom that interested in an artist besides my auntie Mary J. Blige.
It was her “Bottoms Up” verse that gave me my official “Barb” card—or pass into her standom. The theatrical delivery of her verse verbally as well as visually was nothing I’d ever seen before. It was different and it was fun, she made entertainment fun. On the flipside, I loved how she stood out next to the men in videos and out-shined them with her over-the-top attire and out-rapped them with her razorsharp lyrics and dominating demeanor. I loved Missy Elliot for her amazing visual performances and Trina for her defiant delivery and confidence, and I got both from Nicki Minaj. I lived for the opportunity to out rap someone in a “who can rap Nicki’s verse better?” competition. I found refuge in her brand and alignment with her uniqueness, I knew what it was like to not fit in.
I scored the lead in my eighth grade musical, but it wasn’t as exciting this time around as I already felt accomplished in that realm. I’d been part of an ensemble, my voice had become strong over the years under the direction of Mrs. Spangler, and I could complete the choreography. Around that time I’d been in the computer room with my cousin Ricky recording music and after hearing the feedback from my older cousins I realized that I could sing and write songs independently, and started singing all of the time around the house when my mom and Tony weren’t home. My siblings would always complain but I didn’t give a fuck, I kept singing. My practice all paid off when I was one of the winners in the city’s local talent shows!
The post-show review said, “The winner of third, Corey [redacted], was one of my favorites. This young man can sing. He went up to the stage, sat down, and began singing ‘Rolling in the Deep’ by Adele. He opened his mouth, and we all just sat, stunned. His voice was that good. If you watch the video, you'll see what I mean.” My mom listened to all types of music so I’d been listening to Adele’s music since her debut album. As challenging as it was to sing an Adele song, I sat in a chair and performed. I ended up being the highest placing soloist, and it was later confirmed by a judge who befriended me on Facebook that while I would have been the first place winner, mathematically it was more fair to place me at because my monetary prize would still be the highest since it didn’t have to be split between five or two, respectively. It was kind of unfair, but it was a community event so I took it on the chin.
I’d never seen my mom as excited as she was after seeing me perform, especially because my entry into the show itself was a surprise to her. It was through the public library, somewhere she would always take us, and I just told her one day that I signed up and when the time came the whole family came to see me. There was some doubt when we arrived, but I showed them all that this wasn’t like my soccer auditions, this was one of my God given talents. By the time we got to the car my mom was requesting me to learn “Start Over” by Beyonce, a song on the first album that I fell in love with from front to back, “4”. She also learned that I could sing the whistle notes made famous by Mariah Carey and would call family members and have me sing the notes to show off. I entered high school playing soccer and would also become engulfed in the performing arts program led by Mr. Michael Michewicz.
Under the oversight of Mr. Michewicz, I was able to explore and play with my talents on a consistent level. He was one of the few adult males who I’d felt comfortable with as a child, and would put up with all of my nonsense with true kindness. I sang most of the male solos in choir, sang the national anthem for basketball games, and started learning how to play the saxophone in order to participate in the school’s jazz band before school. I’ve always had an ear for music, of all genres, and I found community amongst a group of peers, especially my singing partner Raven Preston-Holmes. We also acted in the school play together, both chasing after our artistic dreams. I was so focused on becoming a jack of all artistic trades, with singing being my focus, that I was a master at none. However, I would go on to start dedicating myself to one of my talents.
Back in middle school, I’d fallen in love with a television show titled “The Game” on a deep level. It was something so fascinating about the realism of the show and the way it made me feel, even as a kid. It was when I knew that I wanted to one day create something similar, possibly TV shows. It seemed unrealistic that I’d be able to accomplish such a feat, but it was my mom who made it start to feel possible.
She was very creative and a writer herself and had figured out a way to self-publish her own work. I watched her hand write her book, get the cover art completed, and then the process of the book being printed inside of the bookstore. To see her take her ideas from a thought on a paper to tangible form was so inspiring. I immediately started writing my first book while in tenth grade and completed it within a few weeks.
Outside of writing and recording a couple songs on my cousin’s computer towards the end of tenth grade, all of my artistic pursuits would come to a halt after moving to Saginaw that school year and beyond. I wasn’t able to practice my singing due to one of my grandparents usually being home, and my “bedroom” was the sitting area in the basement which was shared by everyone. Another thing that came to a halt was my outward love for Nicki Minaj, I knew that people would clock that I was gay if they knew how much I loved her. After hearing my grandma tell my mom that she “better not see me in no Nicki Minaj shirt”, I knew it was time to leave it all behind me.
My experience as a whole in Saginaw messed with parts of nervous systems in many ways, and years later I still find myself trying to rewire it from the trauma. I had to not only stifle my interests and artistic expressions, but I had to suppress large parts of my humanistic expression as a whole in an effort to avoid constant conflict and ridicule. In reflection, those traumatic experiences were the catalyst to work that I would go on to create. Present day, I don’t believe that my work would have been as good without going back to the source, my place of origin. My experiences would go on to shape my mindset and my understanding of life in many different ways.
After writing the guest editorial in the city newspaper in eleventh grade, I realized that I had passion for education and creating an academia that met students’ needs. I knew that I was more advanced than my peers, and I was aware of all of the idiosyncrasies and antiquated systems and mindsets in education, specifically in underserved urban communities. Present day, I watched the same students who fought against the idea of combining two very old schools into one united superschool speak in awe of the brand new state of the art high school named Saginaw United High School as adults. Many wish that they had the chance to attend the school, but some people are still angry, though.
For my senior project I listed that my career aspiration was to become a judge, something about their authority intrigued me. I couldn't shadow a judge, so I shadowed a prison warden for similar intrigue—authority over the lives and reformation of people from my way of life. After shadowing the gracious warden, I realized that it wasn’t the path for me since I didn’t want to work my way up through the ranks to the position, I had only planned to acquire education in order to land at that top spot.
Another possible career direction for me was interior design. I’ve always loved to observe and design architecture as a whole and all through my life I would draw out infrastructure for homes, islands, towns, and cities that were governed by an authority that I created. I would do the same with legos and other toys at daycare building larger projects like hotels, campuses, and cities, but my drawings and fully fleshed out imaginary governance would be way more intricate.
Towards high school graduation I became very close with my Aunt Terri who took me under her wing. Going through her old photo albums and seeing the life she lived and how fly she looked doing it made me want to present myself to the world differently. As an adult she’d source out clothing from all over the world, and made clothes on her own. In every picture she stood out, looking like a superstar. In every room she stood in in real life, light shined down on her.
She was the epitome of a boss, living in a beautiful home with an all white living room with white couches, and driving sports cars and luxury vehicles, all of which she’d acquired through hard work. She was also extremely generous to everyone. Around holidays she would independently deck her house out in extravagant Christmas production of lights and decor, even getting on top of the roof herself. She’d then prepare and cook all of the food on her own.
She hosted all of the family Christmas parties at her residence, with hundreds of gifts under the tree that she’d wrap all by herself. She had gifts for everyone, and spare gifts for random guests. Footing the bill for everything. She did all of this while presenting herself as a fly, successful, and charismatic adult. Then she would go back to work in her high-ranking position at her plant job, a job she started from the bottom at making minimum wage.
Seeing the time capsule of her life and the position that she’d landed in made me want to be like her in a lot of ways. I started clinging to her, watching the path she’d laid and planning to walk in her footsteps when it came to events and creating spaces for friends and family. The most inspiring thing I’d witnessed is how she adopted many non-biologically related people into her family tree, including myself. She wouldn’t let her brother mistreat me in her home. Her DNA may not be in my blood, but it’s all throughout my life.
By the time I made it to college I had started getting back in my writing bag and started crafting a story for a book idea. Over the course of the semester, I became engulfed in the story on a spiritual level. The characters in the first book I wrote felt like a part of me, but these characters were much more iterative of the stories from people in my life and heightened by fictional settings and circumstances. Before I knew it, I’d noticed someone looking at me as I was walking through the campus and I realized that I appeared to be talking to myself. I wasn’t actually talking to myself, but the dialogue and the characters had become so strong in my head that I’d catch myself acting out the dialogue back and forth between the characters out loud. Sounds crazy, but it’s how the storyteller breaks the stories.
I would go on to continue breaking down stories and noting these characters, but after my freshman year of college my only focus was survival. I didn’t have my own space to fully flesh out my creative ideas since I was sleeping on floors and couches and working. I spent a lot of time at my cousin Taneshia and Ricky’s home, consuming the content they were interested in and paying attention to how they interacted with it as I was creating my own in the notes section of my phone. One thing that they had become interested in that hit close to home was the feud between Nicki Minaj and another female rapper. Social media was ablaze and I watched them take it all in and everyone bash an artist who I once loved dearly.
After seeking out more information on what had transpired during the few years I’d put my “Barbie” chain up, I became engulfed in her community of fans named the “Barbz”. I started learning about how treacherous the industry was and the unchecked power of the media. I witnessed her go through a hate-train that had a lot of parallels to what I had experienced at The Hill.
I watched her be picked a part, lied on, bullied, falsely perceived, and fight the fuck back against everyone. I started resonating with her on a more personal level because of this, and especially after following her podcast show “Queen Radio” and realizing how similar we were and learning so much about how she’s navigated her career. Her lyrics started hitting differently as I started facing similar obstacles and adversaries in my life.
Upon initially reading “I can’t not have the top position!” you probably think that it means that I have to have it, but it means that after all I’ve been through, I can’t not land in the top position. After all of the drive that I’ve displayed, I can’t not end up in the pole position. It was said by Nicki Minaj in an interview after being asked if she felt like she HAD to assert her place in the female rap hierarchy, and she basically said that she didn’t have to assert herself in anything as the proof was in the numbers. Remember when I said earlier in the book that my yearbook quote would’ve been “this the official competitor elimination”? Nine years later I still stand by that, because I’ve realized that the competition is at the bottom, the people at the top are collaborating. For me, the proof will be in the snowflakes within the Snow Globe.
The “snowflakes” are the biological byproduct of my creativity and experiences, in the form of art, media, stories, and talent and professionals under my creative guidance. Shortly after becoming a part of the Barb community and taking up-close inspiration from the head Barb’s life journey, I found myself fully engulfed in my own work and ideas, and fully believing that I could achieve them.
My ideas for my television writing have grown into a cinematic universe of multiple shows and built up worlds. Inspired by the creators of some of my favorite TV shows: Mara Brock Akil creator of “Girlfriends'', “The Game” and “Being Mary Jane”, with last two being in my top five series of all time, James Larosa creator of “Hit The Floor”, Courtney Kemp creator of “Power”, David Simon creator of “The Wire”, and Pete Nowalk creator of “How to Get Away with Murder”. “The Fosters”, “Pose”, “Snowfall”, and “Raising Kanan” are all some of my favorite shows of all time.
After listening to probably a couple hundred hours of these creative geniuses’ interviews and speeches, I started realizing that I wasn’t crazy. Before studying the greats, I’d only met a couple of people in my life who I connected with on an artistic level that I felt like understood the way my brain worked—and therefore my beliefs in myself and my destiny. It was comforting listening to these storytelling masterminds and knowing I wasn’t crazy for having visions, speaking on my characters like they are real people, or building fully fleshed out worlds in my head.
Some of their life experiences, quirks, and interests were candidly similar to my own and made me feel like I was on the right track. Mara Brock Akil is my biggest inspiration in terms of storytelling. I've learned so much from her work, her words, and her humanistic expression. I look at her like a storytelling godmother, and her storytelling DNA is in all of my writing works. I am in the strategically designed safe space that she created for creatives under her Story27 production company. It was from her that I learned that twenty-seven is the year of humanity.
One of my favorite mind speakers, writer 20DaysofJune, helped me understand the value of expression and passed on many words of wisdom to me through his content. He was one of the few people able to thoroughly and concisely put my thoughts, feelings, and perspective into a clear lens and strong voice. Imprints of his creative DNA are in my creative approach.
I also studied the blueprints of media moguls like Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson, Coach K and Pee (founders of “Quality Control Music”) and Jay-z. All ghetto boys who turned dust into diamonds and provided a path of inspiration for people who look like them and come from their way of life like myself. Although I didn’t remain aligned with his content towards my teen years, Tyler Perry was the first man to inspire me and continues to inspire me with all that he’s accomplished in the business realm while retaining ownership of his work. I teared up watching his documentary and witnessing the parallels of his life and my own, knowing what seeing him in those moments on big stages sparked in me as a child, never knowing the struggles he was going through up to that point and behind the scenes.
A lot of people, especially family members, tried to bring me down over the years because of my fascination with arts and entertainment and the creatives who made it, but in the same way that young athletes look up to Kobe and Lebron, or Odell Beckham and Cristiano Ronaldo, is the same way I look up to the people who’ve accomplished things similar to what I want to. It’s all entertainment and they are all entertainers, Lebron performs on the court that performers like Nicki Minaj has her concert stages on, except those tens of thousands of people are there to see one bitch. That bitch. I appreciate arts and entertainment as a whole and everybody’s contributions to the industry.
For years I was a jack of all trades, but a master of none. A lover and student of arts and entertainment, but a true creator of none. I’ve always been able to spot talent, beauty in all forms, standout musical tracks, rising trends, curate many forms of composition, and put my pen to work. Then one day I sat and asked myself, “At the top of your career, where do you see yourself?” I saw myself at the helm of a media conglomerate where TV shows and movies were produced, music was made, fashion was crafted, and talent was uplifted. It all seemed like too much at first, but after understanding the holistic nature of art and entertainment, I started realizing that I could explore all of my talents and then centralize them into one place, which is how Snow Studios, unnamed at the time, was born. Snow Studios eventually became the creative space and nexus of Snow Global Universe, the creative umbrella and eventual media conglomerate.
I then asked myself, “What are you going to master?” The answer was obvious and that was creating and writing television series, as I was already working towards my ten-thousand hours. With the executive producer title I realized that I was able to be a jack of many talents that would all be of leverage to the work that I mastered. Creating worlds with characters and stories iterative of my life experiences and human gaze is the greatest form of alchemy that I could ever perform. I can humanize the dehumanized, create room for understanding for the misunderstood, teach through dialogue and give lessons through plots. I know where they start, and where they end. I can go on a mission to tell the stories of the abused, esoteric, and overlooked through productions while taking an intrusive look into the center of humanity.
I’m able to architect playgrounds for my inner-child and inner-world builder to roam and play with others’ in the form of production sets, performing arts studios, learning organizations, fashion ateliers, and more. Seeing how Virgil Abloh and Rihanna’s teams were able to take over the fashion world by storm, something that I also fell in love with at a young age, and then present it with productions on the runway, or the cinematic Fenty Show was affirming.
Storytelling is my superpower and over time I realized all of the ways that I am able to use it for omnipotent communication in saving humanity—through my scripts, which need architecture in order to film, music composition to create feeling, and fashion to dress characters in, and so on. Art is a nexus, where many forms of creativity, talent, skills, and life intersect. Art is the greatest form of life. Art is life.
I was able to see this intersection at the highest levels at the Renaissance concert. Seeing the greatest entertainer of my lifetime, Beyoncé, front in the center as the nexus, was such a surreal experience. Being in the same physical space with someone who I’ve watched from afar presenting her incredible and intentional art, curated by herself and teams of the greatest creatives in the world, in real life was synergizing.
It affirmed me of my ability to exist in these spaces, and inspired me to want to exist in a greater capacity in these spaces at my highest potential. Watching brilliance be personified, talent directly from the source of life, and the output of hard work and creative excellence was what I needed as I completed building the digital infrastructure of my own dreams. I left that stadium a different creative than I came in, knowing that I was ready to spearhead my own visions into production.
In addition to visual productions, music has been one of the most healing forms of life for me to consume, and something that I feel on a spiritual level. The vessels of this healing who share it with the world, and specifically myself, will always have my respect and acknowledgement. Three music artists who have defined this act of mine were Nicki Minaj, Rio Da Yung Og, and Kehlani. These were my three most listened to artists for years, and helped inspire me with their lyrics to get through life’s obstacles. Kiana Lede is an honorable mention. As I go into this next act with the connection of someone who I believe to be my twin flame, I’ve fallen in love with a few artists whose music I feel on a deep level, one of them being Mariah the Scientist who I look at as a future close peer and collaborator.
The universe has connected me with many people who helped push me into purpose and who I’ve collaborated with on ACT I of my life story. My best friend Tess is someone who I believe to be one of my soulmates. Tyra is one of my closest and most reliable friends and I trust her to never abandon me. They both have shined light on me during my darkest times, and stood in the light with me during some of my most intimate moments. Jaelah, Leiarra, Dacia, and Le’Asia are my longest running friends and walked around the maze of young adulthood with the lost version of myself. Shatima was the most engaging listener of my cinematic stories and concepts as I fleshed them out into existence, during a time when all of my friends were overlooking me.
My spiritual older sister, Norell who I met as a teacher, became my closest friend as I started my journey of understanding spirituality the last two years of ACT I, and has been there through all that came with it. Demetrice is a ten-year mentor and LGBT father-like figure that I met as a student who helps me feel understood. Sydney and Emanuel are two of my oldest creative mentees who I met as students, and both are sometimes my creative little siblings, and sometimes my LGBT children. Justin is the first student whose art (music) landed on my lap, and my oldest creative mentee and younger brother. Isaiah, you were my first surrogate son, and you will always have a special place in my heart. Xavier, believing in you helps me to continue believing in myself. Deja is a friend who truly believes in me. Asia is my friend who I’ve known the longest and has been my go to as I close the act.
Many family members have collaborated with me throughout my life, and some of them have a special place in my heart. My closest brothers Montez and Corey Jr. are my fraternal twins. I love my younger siblings Trinity, Jacob, and Damarcus like I birthed them. My baby cousin Ea’Moni can get the world from me. My older sister Keoshia is someone who I’ve been able to look up to. I look at my older cousin Tierra like a sister, and one of the closest women to me. I wouldn’t want my brother to be with anyone other than my sister-in-love Enyha. Taneshia and Terri are two women in my life who took me in from day one and nurtured me. My aunt, Kenyatta, provided a safe space for me to heal and I will forever appreciate her for that. My grandmas Janice and Betty are my home.
My grandfather Evander Scott Sr. was the first man that I looked up to, and the closest thing that I had to a father. He died February 20, 2020 and I will forever cherish his legacy.
Rest In Peace, Granddad. I’ll love you forever.
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As I neared completion of this memoir, my calendar counted down the days until I would attend Nicki Minaj’s “Pink Friday 2 Tour” with my mom. My mom flew in a few days before to spend some time with me and in those days I finished every part of this memoir besides the last few paragraphs of this chapter, as well as the afterword that I’d tasked her with writing. It was important that she wrote the afterword, what better way to conclude my origin story than with words from my physical source of origin.
So many things in my life have come around full-circle, including the relationship with my mother. My mother is the literal blueprint for my existence in cellular form, with my life beginning in her womb while she was still developing in the womb herself. My mother had me at sixteen and I watched her grow from a child to a woman over the course of over two strenuous decades. She was the first human that I loved and saw myself represented in. In the times she didn’t have the mental capacity to give me the nurturement I needed, I looked for it in other sources including music and human influences. One of those being Nicki Minaj, my favorite artist of all time.
Shortly after standing in the truth of my sexuality at twenty-one, our relationship started growing closer. Her refusal to accept my truth was short-lived, and we began to start building a friendship. Something we bonded over was our shared love for music, and our favorite artist, both finding community in the Barbz fandom. There was a lot of negative connotation that came with that fandom affiliation, and it’s a label I ran from and she denied. After a while of understanding the power of community, we both started embracing our place in the lively safe-space for misunderstood creatives and media enthusiasts.
Over time we became extremely close, and I watched my closed-off mother come out of her shell as she started to re-discover the essence of who she truly was. I came to find out that she had her own story of how the community she was born into failed her. As a kid I watched my mom’s vibrant and dynamic energy deplete as she grew into adulthood and into the trap of an abusive relationship. It would come out in moments, but for the most part I watched her exist on auto-pilot mode. As she started to realize that she was the true pilot of her own destiny in the skies of wonder, she made moves to steer herself in the direction of hope and peace, including moving into her own place. It was a very scary moment for her, but exciting for me to witness.
While she entered new beginnings in the form of independence, I entered a new experience that helped me understand her plight to a certain extent. Some things you never understand until you experience them. If you go back to the study of life history, you will likely find the repeated patterns of the energetic imprints of your parents and their parents and their parents, that are manifested in your own life. There is a spiritual truth that anything that they did not heal from within their own lifetime will continue to be passed down through the womb until there is one generation who finally decides to face it and overcome it.
As carriers of human life, it is our responsibility to heal in order for future generations to be healed. After facing what felt like a near-death experience in terms of emotional turmoil, I knew that I needed to heal in many ways. Part of my healing journey was releasing memories and trauma that I’ve held on to for years so that I could thoroughly tell my own story when the time came. I started writing this memoir in an effort to have my story in tangible form so that I didn’t have to store all of the pain in my spirit. I won’t have to replay it in my mind so that I don’t forget parts of my journey or origin story, it’s all in one external place now.
I took a break for a while, but after reconnecting with someone who held a mirror to my face, I was able to finish it with more power in my pen. More understanding of the fact that for decades, the magical gifts of art and expression that my people have been able to give the world has been from our suffering. More information from the five-dimensional realm, more understanding of the power of life and spirituality, and affirmation in my three-dimensional missions.
I'm finishing writing this chapter the day after the concert, one of the most full-circle moments of my life. I sat in a seat close to the stage in matching outfits with my mother/big sister/best-friend, who looked beautiful, replenished, and embodied the essence of her inner-child. In the crowd I saw teenage boys with their mothers and authority figures who reminded me of a younger version of myself, fifteen years ago. They passionately rapped lyrics to songs that were written before they were born, songs that were released when I was still a kid trying to understand my own identity. They didn’t have to hide their passion or enthusiasm, they were able to express themselves in a safe-space full of thousands of other people just like them.
On the stage no more than thirty feet from me stood a human who first had to figure out who they were and prophesied their life and career when they were coming up. They were the same age as me, twenty-seven, the number of humanity, when they dropped their debut album; truly starting their journey of fulfilling their destiny. When I was a kid, I looked to this person strictly for entertainment. As an adult, I found life-changing inspiration in their words, her words, as I discovered interviews from a decade prior of her saying everything that she was going to do in her career and realizing that she’d done every single thing.
Listening to her voice would be like listening to a pitch-corrected version of my inner voice. Consuming her lyrics would be like finding old journals and notes that I’d written while in the zone and stumbled back on like, “Wow, I wrote this?” I stood in awe as she rapped, “Greatness is what we on the brink of!” as she stood center stage still at the top of her game, living her wildest dreams. A story she’d co-written into existence with the source of life.
Her special guest was Monica, the same Monica who I saw in a music video as a little kid and thought I was watching her real life on candid camera. I didn’t see an “entertainer” in an alternate reality (music video), I saw a real life human existing in the only reality I knew at the time—life. Monica opened her set with “So Gone”, the song in the music video that introduced me to her. It was a full-circle experience for me, as my inner-child came out and I sang along to her performing nostalgic songs. My inner-child who thought that this character that she played in a music video existed in my real life, was seeing this human exist in my real, living, and breathing life. My reality.
Before she was “Nicki Minaj”, she was a ‘lil ghetto girl named Onika Maraj and Monica was her favorite entertainer who she passionately supported. At that time in the world, Monica didn’t know Onika existed, she was just one of millions of people who loved her. When announcing her special guest for this concert, Nicki exclaimed that one of the most full-circle moments of her life was coming to fruition with one of her favorite artists and inspirations as a child, Monica, joining her on own world tour. She ended the announcement with: If you think you know how your life will turn out, I’m here to let you know RIGHT tf now; you do not. If you consistently do your part, It will be even more magical than you could ever dream. So dream big.
For years people undermined my gravitation and understanding of this human because she didn’t know that I existed. When you’re in tune with the highest power, you exist on a frequency of understanding that some will never reach. When you’re in tune with your own spiritual being, you’re aware of the power you possess. She knows that I exist, just like I know that there are millions of humans who will find refuge, inspiration, entertainment, understanding, and healing in my existence and the products of it. Just like Beyonce, this one human named Onika brought together thousands of humans dressed in pink from all different walks of life, all different races, ages, genders, body types, socioeconomic backgrounds, sexual orientations, and more to celebrate ART.
As I move into the architecture of ACT II of my life, I have to stand on my own work that exists as the foundation—living in my power, truth, and greatness. I’ve had to leave a lot of things in ACT I, and bring newly discovered things into it. I’ve had a large village of creative and spiritual influences to help foster my talent and powers including Shey Marie, Tyler Perry, Mara Brock Akil, and Beyonce. Nicki Minaj has been a creative and spiritual mama bear/big sister, with the “Barbz” including me, being her cubs. But eventually cubs have to grow up and leave the den taking everything they’ve learned and creating their own. In this context the den is a community of art of media enthusiasts. I left the concert with a spiritual confirmation that I was ready to be on the stage presenting art or behind the stage running the show, not in the crowd watching. I considered this concert to be my “Barb Retirement Party”, it came right on the brink of me moving into my Snow Globe, and I’ve affectionately named my cubs “Snowstormers”.
Before I coined the term “Snowstormers”, the youth under me have been known as my brothers, sisters, cousins, friends, students, kids, youngins, chirren, gremlins, etc. As the lead Snowstormer, I am in the position to uplift and inspire talent and enthusiasts around the world. I believe in transferring skills and experiences and looked at my role as a substitute teacher like a dayplayer in a production. The analogy would have the school board being the network execs, principal being the showrunner/executive producer, admins being the producers, teachers as the crew, and the students as the talent. In being a dayplayer, I met the first members of the Snow Global Universe community, from creative administration to talent. But in this community, I won’t be at the “bottom” or “just a” anything, I’ll be the executive producer.
My first audience, large group of listeners, and followers of my facilitation were my students—the youth. Since I’ve been on my journey of architecting the Snow Globe on a consistent basis, I’ve had thousands of students looking at me with their big innocent eyes for direction. To them, I was authority, a guide, a leader, and for many a safespace. I didn’t build my Snow Globe alone, I built it with the smiles, acknowledgements, and love of the future of life, the youth, and with the collaboration of humanity. Everything I do from this point, every table I create, and every goal I set and accomplish is to prove to them that I am worth following, supporting, letting lead, letting guide, and that any infrastructure that I architect will always be a safespace.
Architecting a Snow Globe?
My snow globe is my frame of mind, strategically designed architecture using my story as the blueprints for the digital and physical infrastructure of snow globes, organizations, and concepts. The snowflakes are fragments of information, experiences, loved ones, naysayers, opinions, ideas, all of this content inside of my mind that has undergone crystallization of humanistic intelligence, consciousness, and spirituality and alchemized into art.
Architect yours by writing your story, literally and figuratively. Physically inhabit it by building safe spaces in your home or community. Let your powers or skills be the tools, while using your gaze of life to lay the foundation. If you tap into the power given to you directly from the source of life, the universe will literally let you co-write your story with it.
The universe and I have a lot of writing left to do, but what I can confidently say has already been written in snow for me is that I will die waving the flags of Snow Global Universe & Ghetto Navy Foundation and also:
My name is Decoreyan Snow and I was born July 25, 1997 to a beautiful sixteen year old mother named Sherron Parham, and a twenty-six year old ghetto boy named Corey Scott, who were both lost in the problematic maze of life on the east side of the poverty and crime-ridden city of Saginaw, and I was destined to be a solution.
Afterword
written by my mother,
Sherron “Shey Marie” Snow
author of 22 books and counting…
Being a child while bearing a child and then having to raise that child, while still being a child is one of the hardest things that I’ve ever done in my life. It didn’t come with guidance, a hand book, sympathy, or extra love. It was frowned upon and a lonely isolated feeling. It was overwhelming, draining and exhausting, but at the same time it was beautiful, exciting and helped me grow to know what unconditional love looked like.
At the time it didn’t feel real, it was honestly surreal. It felt like the little bald head boy cabbage doll of mine that my little brother had buried in our backyard had come alive. This time I couldn’t outgrow my baby doll because he was REAL. With having a REAL baby doll to feed, shelter and keep alive came REAL challenges. Challenges that I sometimes didn’t know how to navigate. Which caused me to make a lot of huge mistakes. Mistakes that will haunt me forever. But I tried, I never gave up because I loved my son and the other three that would shortly follow. I knew that with them I would always have someone in my life that loved me for me.
I always knew that I was loved by my mother, but I didn’t know what the words actually felt like to touch. What I knew is that my mother kept the lights on, food in the refrigerator and the best clothes she could afford on our backs. She made sure we were alive and gave what she could and that was her way of showing me and my siblings that she loved us. She didn’t get a guide book on raising kids either, nor did she have a mother to show her what unconditional love looked like, being that her mother gave her away at a young age to be raised by people without kids. So just like her, I had to figure it out on my own.
What I took from my childhood was that I wanted my kids to have a two parent home, which I never saw growing up. Nor in the other family members or children in my neighborhood as a child. But I saw it on the tv and that’s what I wanted my kids to have. I wanted better for them then I was accustomed too. So I searched for that in men that weren’t capable of being good fathers. Leading to a lot of pain and misery that can’t be reversed.
As a fully grown woman now every time I look back on my past it takes me to a dark place of depression. A place that I hope to one day heal from and help heal my children, and anyone else who were hurt along the way of my poor decision making. I am human and made a lot of mistakes that I have owned up to and hopefully will one day be forgiven for. And in my healing journey I hope to help and mentor as many other young, vulnerable women who feel just as lost as I once was, and I hope to help them realize that love does not equate to pain.
So DeCoreyan my son, I love you, and I thank you for helping me grow into a woman. You are a brilliant young man with an extraordinary imagination. From the day you could talk you were above your peers intellectually. You loved learning so much that on occasion you would get up and get fully dressed for school on Saturdays. Potty training in two weeks, by four you were as smart as an eight-year-old. I only had to teach and show you things one time and you mastered them.
You’ve always been a quick thinker and marched to the beat of your own drum. You have always been yourself no matter how much people, including me, tried to change you. Through you, I’ve learned how to stop being a people pleaser, and how to step into my power no matter how big or small the rooms are that I walk in.
Not only are you intelligent, strong, and creative, you have always been very kind and giving. Every day I’m in awe of how someone like me could create a human being like you. The world is yours for taking and as always I wish you much happiness and success on your journey to building an empire within your snow globe and becoming a global icon. Even though your father won't be here to witness the greatness he helped to create, I'm pretty sure that he will be just as proud of you as I am.
—
Sherron,
You are forgiven.
Love you.
- Decoreyan Snow